On the Recent Fuel Shortage…

Me ScootWell folks, here comes another summer, the travel season, bringing with it more outrageous prices at the pump. When it got high last year, I had it figured out that it cost me $5.50 to go down to Fort Carson and back to my house. This year is supposed to get even higher because current prices have already surpassed the records set last year. It will be interesting to see if they can get up to $4.00 a gallon, maybe even $4.34 (it got over $3.34 at the peak of last year), which would make an increase of $3.00 from when I moved here in Ought-three .

The price of oil has shot up to $75.00 a barrel, driving up the cost of production, yet somehow oil companies are making "record earnings". An interviewee on a political talk show claimed "it is basic economics" that the oil companies would make more money. She explained that as the price of crude goes up, supply becomes more limited, demand increases, the prices goes up, and an oil executive buys himself an island in the Carribean.

I've taken this economics lesson to heart. I'm starting a lemonade stand. When the price of crude lemons in Walmart's produce section doubles or triples, people will have to pay outrageous prices for my product. I should clean up quite nicely. Although, I do get lost somewhere in the math. Let's see…. if lemons double… then my lemonade should double…. hmmm. That's weird. It doesn't seem like I would make any more money unless I charged more than double for the lemonade. But nobody should notice, because the price of lemons is already so high.

Anywho, I hear that Iran is one of the largest suppliers of crude oil. If they are sanctioned for their nuclear bombmaking, er powerplants, it will drive up the price of oil even more.  Americans would get to pay more at the pump (and me and the boys would get a combat jump into Tehran).

I have to say, I am just happier than a pig rolling in his own feces that these prices are exponentially increasing. People are finally starting to pay attention. It used to be that the only people who cared that we sold our souls for unleaded were hippies who rigged their VW Bus to run on vegatable oil. Now that people care, the government is stepping in. In an ingenious move by congress, E-85 Ethanol can now be bought at most filling stations. This not only allows mainstream consumers to buy alternative fuels, but makes storing adequate amounts of regular gasoline wonderfully impossible. With any luck, this should make buying fuel such a nuissance that the public will want to do it as seldom as possible. Maybe they would buy more effecient vehicles. People could opt for a Honda Insight, which gets around seventy miles per gallon.  Demand will go down, supply will go up, and that Exxon executive will have to sell his island.

I myself have decided against buying a Hummer and went with a Vespa instead. I get 90 miles per gallon on this hog. It's nice to think that I am reducing dependence on foreign oil and cleaning up the atmosphere, but I'm really just one man doing his small part to not get screwed while those SUV driving chumps pay through the nose.

Posted in News. 5 Comments »

5 Responses to “On the Recent Fuel Shortage…”

  1. Greg Says:

    You know, speaking of the hybrid car thing, I hear that the hybrid’s gas mileage really isn’t that good – but somehow the calculation or the sticker or something makes it look really really great. But they’re passing a law so that next year they will have to display actual real true mileage on the hybrid stickers. I don’t know if this is true or not…. let me find an article to back me up…


    Thar she blows.

  2. Cornelius Says:

    I agree with the previous comment. Also, nice ride. Almost you convince me to become a motorcyclist.

  3. Gunny Says:

    Yah, I looked at that website. That city driving really lessens the hybrid edge. Even my wife’s Honda station wagon gets 26, and I tested that myself. That Ford Escape hybrid might be good because it only turns on the gas engine if you over 25 miles per hour.

    Hey Cornelius,
    Is your name an homage to Planet of the Apes or Fight Club, or do you just like the sound of it?


  4. Gunny Says:

    BTW, Anyone interested in alternative fuels should visit http://journeytoforever.org/biodiesel_make.html#biodnew

  5. Cornelius Says:

    I shall answer your question about my name in an actual posting, for the story is too long to set down here. Also, I have one more thing to add about the fuel issue: “He who controls the spice controls the universe!”

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