I can’t count days any more. Down to hours now.
I feel bad that I’ve neglected the site so much in the past few weeks. I’m afraid it really is my upcoming nuptuals that tend to distract me from producing much in the way of thought provoking, entertaining, and otherwise nourishing internet grub.
I’m thinking “What was it I wanted to do before I stopped being single?”
Can’t think of anything except “Spend money recklessly.”
But I’ve already started being responsible.
My sister says that marriage is something that you can’t understand when you’re not in it, and if you really could you probably wouldn’t do it. I’m not sure how I feel about that idea. Come to think of it, I’m not sure how I feel about the end of my single life. Nor am I sure how I feel about my future. But I guess it’s better to feel fine than to feel bad. My feelings are beige. My future is a glazed donut as far as I can tell. Definately not bad – quite enjoyable really, but I’m not exactly drooling yet. But it could be that I find out there’s a lot of sprinkles on this future of mine that I haven’t seen yet.
May even be jelly-filled.
It may even be that what I’m failing to comprehend could be favorably compared to a Krispy Kreme factory, and I’m just noticing the free glazed donut they give you when you come in.
Have I taken this metaphor too far?
I guess the point is that I’m completely blank on the subject. No opinion, no preconceptions. I recognize there’s going to be a lot of work and emotional effort involved in whatever the future may bring.
I’ve changed, and I think it’s good. (Good comic book called change or die, by the way. Warren Ellis. Swears a lot.)
I’m in summer school, finished with one class and taking one online class. I hope to get two A’s out of it in order to prove to the pretty financial aid people that I’m deserving of government money.
I don’t think I ever could have passed an internet class before my mission. It requires a level of self-motivation that I didn’t have before I let things be important to me. Like Kayeleen, or my future with her.
Life is still good. The euphoria of engagement is pretty much gone for me, but I still feel just happy about life. Even when I’m at my frustrating and unsatisfying workplace.
Sometime soon we need to work on getting a good base of writers for the site, but I don’t really know how to do that aside from just asking folk to do it. But why write here when you could write pretty much anywhere? Eh. I’ll figure it out after I get back to planet earth in a couple of weeks.