I’m sure you all have felt this, at one time or another, but for me it is cotidienne and increasingly intense. It is simply the need for company. There’s nothing in particular that I want to say, (though I have a lot to talk about), or anything in particular I want to do, (though I have a lot on my list). You know when you’re a missionary you have a companion. And you do everything together. Okay, that’s a little too intense. I don’t want someone to watch my back if I have to pee. But I would like to have someone to hang out with even if there’s nothing to do. I need more company than a cute little two year old can give me. I don’t want to have to tell my friends ten times to pick up their crayons. Or say “if you do that again, I’m going to spank you”. (though some of them would look at that as an invitation). No, I just want to be able to have a conversation any time I want. A little encouragement, a little compliment. I guess I just need to feel appreciated by someone who, even though they are quite capable of taking care of themselves, is still just happy to be with me because it’s me. Because they like me and somehow I brighten their day. That’s why I was always at Greg’s house when everyone was there. There were people who liked me. (Or at least did a good job of pretending.) And I wanted the company.
Er, I think I’ll put on some music and get to work. This mood doesn’t suit me. Who wants to live without joy?
Now that I’ve opened myself up to major mocking, I think I’ll go now.
Bring it on.
And let me be