Sweetest ride?

I’m more of a covered vehicle kind of person, though I could handle a convertible. So none of these cute scooters or sandworms will suffice for me. So what’s the sweetest ride ever for a guy like me?

deathstar2Why it’s your handy (and convertible – see it has the top down today) death star. Built with a billion horse-power star-drive that takes you from zero to lightspeed in .004 seconds, and a great thief deterrent system, this beaut is sure to get the ladies lookin. Make sure you pick up the special options – including exhaust vent grate to block unwanted tailgaters and removable stereo faceplate.

Okay, this may be out of some of us’s price range. So I’ll show you my real sweet ride.

sixteen

Bam. The Cadillac Sixteen.  Zero to 60 in 4.4 seconds.  Probably gets a face stretching 6 miles to the gallon as it makes every Jag and Beamer whimper and hide in the rest areas.  And if that’s still out of your price range, I suppose you could pick up the next most batmobile-like vehicle, the Maybach Exelero, but you’d be losing 4 cylinders and 2 doors, so it’s hardly worth the 3 million dollar price tag.

maybach

There you have it. Makes those dusty spice pests look like overcooked cheetos.

-Greg

Note:  I make a point that none of these sweetest covered wagons are my sweet covered wagon.  My 4 cylinder Mazda 626 is what we call fuel efficient and reliable… and also free.  Thank you.

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Posted in Humor. 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “Sweetest ride?”

  1. Cornelius Says:

    Reliable…Right…
    So, what do you drive now?

  2. Benski Says:

    Do these cars come with whaleskin hubcaps, all leather-cow interiors, and little round baby seal eyes for headlights?


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