Hilarious.

Ebay continues to be a great source of entertainment for me.  I love to put in that search string that brings up the most expensive items and see what people ask 20million for.  Usually it’s just real estate, but sometimes you find some gems.  Here’s a convenient example taken from the seller’s page without editing:  Take a look.

Theoretical Quantum Physics / Quantum Mechanics / AstroPhysics                                                                                                 

Please do not be alarmed, and we hope not to alarm anyone… But the Possibility of Time Travel Truely Exists…

This is a True, Real, and Viable Time Travel Theory & Project. Logistics, Mapping and Methodology.Complete with Illustrations.

PROJECT CLOCKSTAR;                                                                                                                                               

This is the Foundation of True Time Travel. Mathematically & Mechanically Pinpoints, Absolute, Stable.vs temporal, Variable. Constant. Wormhole/Porthole for Precise Pre-Calculated Entry Point in Time and Space. Mathematically Generated Point of Interest in Real Space. Provides Route, Entrance & Exit Points. I Absolutely Guarantee that this is the Basis, Foundation, and Future of Time Travel. This is the Only Document/Project on the Planet that can make this Claim and Prove it. This is a Strategic Advantage for America. GOD BLESS AMERICA !!! 

 After Ten Years of Research and Hard Work, our Discovery Indicates that the Possibility of Time Travel exists. It is a very Complex and Precise Formula. Under Precise Conditions this is Possible and Achievable. This Document & Project is completely Original and Exclusive It is not Plagiarized or Based on Anyone elses work. It is Real and True Science and Mathematics. This Document Facilitates Precise and Exact entry Point in Time and Space Desired. This Document & Project is One of a kind. A Forty–Two page Hand- Written Original. Included is Set-Up Chapter for Absolute Timing. Several Government Agencies have been Notified of its Existance. One U.S. Senator, Cal-Tech. the Dept.Of Energy and the Space Science Institute all have expressed Interest and informally requested these Specifics about this Theory/Project. There is Only One Logistical Diagram in circulation with Feds. They requested “Readers Digest” version so as to Decipher and understand presented Logistical Drawing. This is that Document along with Brief.   

I have been Pondering how to Market such a Phenomenon and feel that eBay is a Good Open Market Forum. Support is available as I am the Innovator and would very much like to Advance this Science. This process is Explained in Complete Detail in Real Language. Experiments, Illustrations, Calculations, and Projection Information Required is Included. I Believe the Event of Time Travel is Possible and can Only be Achieved in Presented Theory. I Believe a Simulation is Possible. We will need alot of Energy/Power. This is the Only way Possible. This Theory/Project is Physically, Mechanically, and Mathematically Sound. All Peaceable Partners are Welcome. Government, Research & Development, Technology Science, Universities, Media & Entertainment Welcome. Principals must be Peaceful in Nature, as it’s Sensitive Implications. Please NO WAR MACHINES.

I am asking 10m. As this is my Life’s work. With Exclusive Rights to be Negotiated. There is so much here that there is Unlimited potential. I am very Easy to Work With. A Joint-Venture is a Possibility. I will consider all Offers to Develope. Also this work is Patentable. I have been told that Grants are a possibility. I would consider a Book Deal. A Walk Away Sale can be Negotiated, though I would Like to Collaberate in its Developement. I Will meet to Discuss before Sale as I Wish all to be Mutually Satisfied. I am also considering Public Stock Offering.             

This will Facilitate the Need of Specific Tools. We are Looking for a Manufacturing Partner  to Manufacture and Market  specific Clocks/Watches, as this Project requires a specific Precise Time Piece, and will Increase in need Expenentially. This is explained in Set-Up Chapter. Interested Manufacturers do not have to Purchase Theory to Produce Time Pieces. This Time Piece Will be the Time Piece of Future as my Theory shows existing method to be Antiquated.

I will Answer all Serious Inquiries or Direct Questions via e-mail at clockstar1@cox.net , or I will Respond by Telephone or in Person if Requested. Before and or After its Sale.

This Discovery is Absolutely Real. I have been told my work is” Absolute Exact Science” and “Very Impressive”. It has Shaken my Nervous System due to its Magnitude. The World Should Prepare. Time Travel is Very Close to Reality. I would not Waste Yours or My Time Folks if this were not Real. 

This Project it’s Details & Unlimited Potential are still Private and Exclusive. More in About Me.                                    Preparing Update 10/16/07 Will Post More Soon.           THANK YOU

Ronald W Francis

CLOCKSTAR

Me again.  Somebody needs to cut off this guys pinky fingers to Prevent Excessive Capitalization.  Also, I * ‘nsert sarcastic tone here * really trust a guy who truely knows how to speell when it comes time to choose my time travel buddy.

Hope it gives you some laughs.  Please comment with your impressions, but remember, NO WAR MACHINES.

-Greg

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8 Responses to “Hilarious.”

  1. White Raven Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA let me guess he calls himself Dr. Who. I found a nexus into another universe once, I will tell you where it is for the low price of $20,000,000,0000.00

    I wonder if he built a time machine out of a dolorian (damn that is a really crappy back to the future joke)

    you know I saw a guy trying to sell a monopoly board walk for a thousand dollars and I wrote him back and told him that for a hundred dollars and his wife I would give him park place. Kind of pissed him off. He was pretty pissed I was hoping he would take the offer.

  2. Benski Says:

    You know, I’d be worried that the ten million dollars would be paid for nothing if it hadn’t been for the geometric 10 pointed star reasurring me that Project Clockstar is, in fact, a genuine and scientifically feasible theory.

    It seems like Luke’s freshman roomate had read something that made him believe time travel was possible. I won’t be able to say for sure until somebody sends me their copy of Project Clockstar. If it does work out, do yourself a favor and DON’T touch the penny in your pocket while you are flirting with that beautiful woman from the past. (10 points to anybody who gets the reference).

  3. Greg Says:

    Ten points for me!

  4. SpaceKitten Says:

    That made me cry!!! He was so cute in his younger years and it was so sad… Oh the memories.

  5. White Raven Says:

    But that is the problem the theory, it is just that a theory. Oddly enough I have read some things on time travel, using our thought process I guess that is possible, however than you could only view it like a movie you would not be able to interfer. I think the past should remain the past and I do not want to see certain things in my past so why even bother with time travel if you can not change what you want.

    I have a theory of using crystals and sound waves to create an electrical pulse weapon type thing but the feds are not knocking on my door and why? Cause it is all in theory, I do not have the money or the know how to build such a thing. It is only in theory, so you people hae nothing to worry about and if I took it seriously you could just shrug it off and laugh at me.

    P.S. I lose ten points I do not get it.

  6. White Raven Says:

    Hmmm curiousity captivates me spacekitten. What is sad and who was so cute?

  7. SpaceKitten Says:

    It was a response to the 10 points. I won them. Just a few more pieces to the riddle of what Benski was referring to. I am pretty sure that most girls my age cried over that particular movie.

  8. White Raven Says:

    Oh o.k. i understand now. Not sure what movie though, trying to think back. Hmmm I probably have never seen the movie. But I get what is going on, for a minute there I was thinking someone you once knew had taken there own life or something.


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