Why I’m already thinking the new Indiana Jones movie is going to stink.

SHIAAAA!!!!Now, I haven’t got anything against Shia Lebeouf in particular.  I think he did a just fine job in Transformers and voicing Asbel in Nausicaa.  Heck, Holes was one of my favorite movies.  No, the potential problem is this:

George Lucas’ endless pandering.

I’ve heard 2 stories.  One of them says that George Lucas is directing the film.  One says that it’s Steven Spielberg.  If it’s Steve-o, then I’m less worried.  As a seasoned director I believe he can get a good performance out of pretty much anybody.  If it’s Lucas…

Lucas…

Well, then I think we’ll end up with another Hollywood Homicide, and I know nobody wants that to happen.

See, Lucas panders.  He wants to be cool to everybody.  If this is Lucas’ show (and even having him attached makes me feel like this could happen,) then we may end up having a Shia Lebeouf character that acts exactly like the Transformers character.

You may say, ” I liked Transformers.  What’s the problem?”

The problem is that the Indiana Jones trilogy was built on a certain kind of character and story.  Indy never needed anybody to make him cool.  In fact the third movie adds an un-cool dad to simply prove to moviegoers just how cool he is.  The humor is built on dry wit and awesomeness.  Not awkward conversations with parents about masturbation.  Lucas will try to pull another jar-jar and appeal to the largest common denominator, negating anything good about the movie by offending his core audience.  And why?  For money, of course.

You would think that eventually these people would remember that what made them so much money in the first place was sticking to artistic vision.  Maybe there’s something to that.

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One Response to “Why I’m already thinking the new Indiana Jones movie is going to stink.”

  1. Benski Says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I must settle any fears that may have been created by this post.

    Ahem… George Lucas is not, repeat, is NOT directing this film. Whew. That was a close one. I think many people will agree that Lucas kills movies (Star Wars) like Lenny killed small creatures. He just loves them too much and squeezes the life out of them.

    I don’t know that Lucas panders, but he certainly has no heart when it comes to directing. A director has to shoot and reshoot until the scene is near perfect. It’s a judgment call. Lucas does not have this gift of judgment. This was painfully obvious in “Episode II: Attack of The Clones.” Instead of creating some sexual tension to make the “love story” interesting, Lucas only managed to create a hollow and instantly satisfied infatuation–a padawan schoolboy crush on a reluctant but ultimately willing recipient. It reminds me of dating in Junior High. Amidala’s playing hard to get is nothing like the Leia’s mature and complicated love/hate relationship with Han Solo. Other parts of the new trilogy were equally juvenile.

    Even if Lucas wanted to pander, I don’t think he knows what people want to see and what makes a good film. I’ve also heard he claims to only make movies for himself. I think this may be true. Why else would he put R2 and C3PO in the first trilogy? He’s just loves those two droids and his StarWars movies too much. So he packs them in to a galalactic clone war with Obi Wan Kenobi, Boba Fett, and miticlorians. “OH NO!” he said. “I’ve killed my prequel!”

    Moving on, I think there is some hope for this Indiana Jones. According to http://www.indianajones.com, Spielberg is directing. You’ve got the whole dream team back for this one: Harrison in front of the camera, Spielberg behind it, and Lucas is somewhere in the background with the checkbook.

    I was skeptical at first because of how long it has been, but the videos on the official site show the years have treated Ford pretty kindly. He could probably pull of a younger Jones than they are trying to portray.

    I’m not sure what role this Shia Lebeouf plays, but it looks like he is some kind of fifties greaser–maybe Indy’s son, maybe a student. I imagine his character will be something like Short Round in “Temple of Doom.” At any rate, it should be harmless.

    I think we’ve got the makings of a great film here. I have my reservations about the title, but “Temple of Doom” wasn’t the greatest either.


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