Dear America,

Hey, it’s me again, America.

I thought that I had better drop you a line since all these decisions are going on.  I wanted to let you know how I feel, particularly about these ‘elections’ going on.  If at all possible, America, (I thought it best to let you know sooner rather than later) I would like to vote for that nice semi-black guy or maybe the old crazy doctor.  Possibly I’d like to vote for the conniving Mormon, but I’m not really set on that either.

See, I thought I had better let you know, America, that I want to vote.  I want to be involved by voicing my opinion.  You probably remember I didn’t show up last time to vote.  And the time before that I seemed a bit grumpy.  You may have wondered why.  Well, I guess it was my own fault for not letting you know sooner, but I had actually wanted to vote for the folks who never made it to the election in which I was allowed to vote.

Remember me, America?  I’m what you call ‘independent’ or ‘undeclared’ depending on where I live.  I don’t get to vote right now.  That’s why I’m letting you know, see?  I was hoping that if I said something now, maybe you’d be nice enough to give me the chance to vote for the guy I actually support.  I sure appreciate the fact that those folks in Iowa, New Hampshire, and Nevada are excited and having lots of fun voting or taking polls or whatever it is that they do over there.  I just don’t happen to live there, America.  I want to have my fun too.

Dear America, could you find it in your heart to let me vote for who I want to vote for no matter what the people in Nevada or Montana say?  I’d sure appreciate it.

Well, like I said, just wanted to let you know.  Good job on the amber waves, etc.  Keep it up.

Your friend,


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