Wrapping up, moving on.

decisions, decisionsIt’s an interesting time for me right now.  A lot of endings and not any real new beginnings.  First, there’s the end to the school year – and with it the end to school.  I took the final class that I had to take in order to graduate this semester.  So it’s all over.  I’m graduating.

I find that the feeling that comes with graduating is so good that I wish I had tried it sooner.

Along with that, my internship at Northwestern Mutual ends, and is replaced soon by a full-time contract.  I had been quite nervous about the idea before – worried I couldn’t make a living out of helping people plan for retirement.  However, having looked at the national rankings of all the interns and finding myself very very near to the top of the list, I feel that I can make a go at it.  It becomes especially thrilling when I look and see what other interns who reached my same level of production have been able to do with a full-time career at Northwestern. 

My methods of teaching seminary class has ended and I never even taught.  I just got to the point that I felt it was time for me to make a decision and go with it – and the decision was not seminary.  Sometimes I wonder if it was selfish of me to choose to do the things that will allow me more time and money than I would have teaching seminary, but I also realise that the idea of spending hours in scripture every day is tremendously appealing to me – and certainly worth a great deal of financial compensation on the scales of “what I want.”  So I don’t think it was a decision motivated by greed.  I think it was simply a time to sit down and say “What is right for me, right now?”  and the answer was to move forward with Northwestern

Today I was also released as a councillor to a bishop in my church.  I’ve been serving in a singles ward for the past school year.  It’s been really amazing at times.  I found the ‘release’ to be bitter-sweet today.  As I left the chapel today I was reminded of how I felt when I left the mission office in Taiwan.  At that time I found I had a bit of heart ache – wondering what was going on in the missionary work without me, what was happening to all the friends I made, and so on.  Today it was a lot of the same as I thought of all the friends I have made and the people I have grown to love going on – many of whom I will never see again.   I can’t help but wonder what will happen.  I can’t help but hope that everything is okay.

Life is pretty good.  I’m sorry for not writing that much lately, though I have had a lot on my mind to write about.  I suppose part of it is a fear that someday some potential client will ‘google’ me and find something on this site that he or she doesn’t like.  The fear has immobilized me from a writing sense.  I’ve been afraid to write anything for fear that it could be seen as less than professional.  I still haven’t really made a decision as far as that goes – whether tis better to blog and look a bit foolish than to never blog at all.

Your input is appreciated.

The snack that smiles back,


3 Responses to “Wrapping up, moving on.”

  1. Ryan Says:

    Well, I for one am thrilled that you’ll be sticking with Northwestern. It’s a much better experience for me to know my account specialist personally.

    As far as being afraid to blog, why would you ever want to work for a place that didn’t respect you (or at least tolerate you) for who you are? I have given up all my inhibitions when it comes to blogging and it makes me a better/happier person for it. (Now if I can just get the frequency part down…)

    To put it another way: http://xkcd.com/137/

  2. Benski Says:

    Congrats on being done with school. I can recall being very excited to finally be done with undergrad life, but I can’t say I was done with school. At another time, I expressed sentiments similar to your own that were sprinkled with Latin for some reason. I guess a little pretentiousness never hurt anybody.

    I have a few points about your blogging concern. I think it’s a good idea to keep a little anonymity in blogging. There is no reason to post your first and last name on a blog. It isn’t fool proof, but it makes you harder to find. If I was planning on “hanging out my shingle” and practicing law by myself, I would probably ratchet up the anonymity, but I wouldn’t stop blogging. But if I worked at a firm, I would keep things pretty much the way they are. I think you can analogize some of this to your own life.

    That said, I think people expect you to have opinions about current events, life in general, spirituality, and sometimes video games. Nothing you’ve ever said on this site could be construed against you. You haven’t injected yourself into some unpopular controversy (nobody cares about confronting scientology bashers). You’ve only shown that you’re a responsible, opinionated person.

    Blogging in this day and age is a fact of life. Almost everybody does it. No client would reject you for merely having a point of view. The danger is where people show a complete lack of professionalism, writing about the parties they went to and got stupid-drunk or blogging their shock-jock-esque opinions.

    Blogging mere nonsense is harmless. In fact, it probably is a sign of intelligence. Employers and clients aren’t required to get your sense of humor or inside jokes to be able to work with you, and I think they will realize that.

  3. Talia Lee Says:

    I shall go with the whole, blog anyway school. And speaking of school, congrats on being done with it! As a sister-in-law, i’m proud of you. Granted, for me, graduation was a bitter-sweet thing because i knew i’d be leaving things behind and that others would move on, mainly roommates, but you don’t have to worry about that bit. :D
    But yeah, don’t stop writing just because you’re a bit worried about whether or not it looks professional. trust yourself on that one and you’ll know the difference. worse comes to worse, use a pen name and dont’ tell anyone about it.

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