It’s an interesting time for me right now. A lot of endings and not any real new beginnings. First, there’s the end to the school year – and with it the end to school. I took the final class that I had to take in order to graduate this semester. So it’s all over. I’m graduating.
I find that the feeling that comes with graduating is so good that I wish I had tried it sooner.
Along with that, my internship at Northwestern Mutual ends, and is replaced soon by a full-time contract. I had been quite nervous about the idea before – worried I couldn’t make a living out of helping people plan for retirement. However, having looked at the national rankings of all the interns and finding myself very very near to the top of the list, I feel that I can make a go at it. It becomes especially thrilling when I look and see what other interns who reached my same level of production have been able to do with a full-time career at Northwestern.
My methods of teaching seminary class has ended and I never even taught. I just got to the point that I felt it was time for me to make a decision and go with it – and the decision was not seminary. Sometimes I wonder if it was selfish of me to choose to do the things that will allow me more time and money than I would have teaching seminary, but I also realise that the idea of spending hours in scripture every day is tremendously appealing to me – and certainly worth a great deal of financial compensation on the scales of “what I want.” So I don’t think it was a decision motivated by greed. I think it was simply a time to sit down and say “What is right for me, right now?” and the answer was to move forward with Northwestern
Today I was also released as a councillor to a bishop in my church. I’ve been serving in a singles ward for the past school year. It’s been really amazing at times. I found the ‘release’ to be bitter-sweet today. As I left the chapel today I was reminded of how I felt when I left the mission office in Taiwan. At that time I found I had a bit of heart ache – wondering what was going on in the missionary work without me, what was happening to all the friends I made, and so on. Today it was a lot of the same as I thought of all the friends I have made and the people I have grown to love going on – many of whom I will never see again. I can’t help but wonder what will happen. I can’t help but hope that everything is okay.
Life is pretty good. I’m sorry for not writing that much lately, though I have had a lot on my mind to write about. I suppose part of it is a fear that someday some potential client will ‘google’ me and find something on this site that he or she doesn’t like. The fear has immobilized me from a writing sense. I’ve been afraid to write anything for fear that it could be seen as less than professional. I still haven’t really made a decision as far as that goes – whether tis better to blog and look a bit foolish than to never blog at all.
Your input is appreciated.
The snack that smiles back,