A profound question!

Thank you.

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Hilarious.

Ebay continues to be a great source of entertainment for me.  I love to put in that search string that brings up the most expensive items and see what people ask 20million for.  Usually it’s just real estate, but sometimes you find some gems.  Here’s a convenient example taken from the seller’s page without editing:  Take a look.

Theoretical Quantum Physics / Quantum Mechanics / AstroPhysics                                                                                                 

Please do not be alarmed, and we hope not to alarm anyone… But the Possibility of Time Travel Truely Exists…

This is a True, Real, and Viable Time Travel Theory & Project. Logistics, Mapping and Methodology.Complete with Illustrations.

PROJECT CLOCKSTAR;                                                                                                                                               

This is the Foundation of True Time Travel. Mathematically & Mechanically Pinpoints, Absolute, Stable.vs temporal, Variable. Constant. Wormhole/Porthole for Precise Pre-Calculated Entry Point in Time and Space. Mathematically Generated Point of Interest in Real Space. Provides Route, Entrance & Exit Points. I Absolutely Guarantee that this is the Basis, Foundation, and Future of Time Travel. This is the Only Document/Project on the Planet that can make this Claim and Prove it. This is a Strategic Advantage for America. GOD BLESS AMERICA !!! 

 After Ten Years of Research and Hard Work, our Discovery Indicates that the Possibility of Time Travel exists. It is a very Complex and Precise Formula. Under Precise Conditions this is Possible and Achievable. This Document & Project is completely Original and Exclusive It is not Plagiarized or Based on Anyone elses work. It is Real and True Science and Mathematics. This Document Facilitates Precise and Exact entry Point in Time and Space Desired. This Document & Project is One of a kind. A Forty–Two page Hand- Written Original. Included is Set-Up Chapter for Absolute Timing. Several Government Agencies have been Notified of its Existance. One U.S. Senator, Cal-Tech. the Dept.Of Energy and the Space Science Institute all have expressed Interest and informally requested these Specifics about this Theory/Project. There is Only One Logistical Diagram in circulation with Feds. They requested “Readers Digest” version so as to Decipher and understand presented Logistical Drawing. This is that Document along with Brief.   

I have been Pondering how to Market such a Phenomenon and feel that eBay is a Good Open Market Forum. Support is available as I am the Innovator and would very much like to Advance this Science. This process is Explained in Complete Detail in Real Language. Experiments, Illustrations, Calculations, and Projection Information Required is Included. I Believe the Event of Time Travel is Possible and can Only be Achieved in Presented Theory. I Believe a Simulation is Possible. We will need alot of Energy/Power. This is the Only way Possible. This Theory/Project is Physically, Mechanically, and Mathematically Sound. All Peaceable Partners are Welcome. Government, Research & Development, Technology Science, Universities, Media & Entertainment Welcome. Principals must be Peaceful in Nature, as it’s Sensitive Implications. Please NO WAR MACHINES.

I am asking 10m. As this is my Life’s work. With Exclusive Rights to be Negotiated. There is so much here that there is Unlimited potential. I am very Easy to Work With. A Joint-Venture is a Possibility. I will consider all Offers to Develope. Also this work is Patentable. I have been told that Grants are a possibility. I would consider a Book Deal. A Walk Away Sale can be Negotiated, though I would Like to Collaberate in its Developement. I Will meet to Discuss before Sale as I Wish all to be Mutually Satisfied. I am also considering Public Stock Offering.             

This will Facilitate the Need of Specific Tools. We are Looking for a Manufacturing Partner  to Manufacture and Market  specific Clocks/Watches, as this Project requires a specific Precise Time Piece, and will Increase in need Expenentially. This is explained in Set-Up Chapter. Interested Manufacturers do not have to Purchase Theory to Produce Time Pieces. This Time Piece Will be the Time Piece of Future as my Theory shows existing method to be Antiquated.

I will Answer all Serious Inquiries or Direct Questions via e-mail at clockstar1@cox.net , or I will Respond by Telephone or in Person if Requested. Before and or After its Sale.

This Discovery is Absolutely Real. I have been told my work is” Absolute Exact Science” and “Very Impressive”. It has Shaken my Nervous System due to its Magnitude. The World Should Prepare. Time Travel is Very Close to Reality. I would not Waste Yours or My Time Folks if this were not Real. 

This Project it’s Details & Unlimited Potential are still Private and Exclusive. More in About Me.                                    Preparing Update 10/16/07 Will Post More Soon.           THANK YOU

Ronald W Francis

CLOCKSTAR

Me again.  Somebody needs to cut off this guys pinky fingers to Prevent Excessive Capitalization.  Also, I * ‘nsert sarcastic tone here * really trust a guy who truely knows how to speell when it comes time to choose my time travel buddy.

Hope it gives you some laughs.  Please comment with your impressions, but remember, NO WAR MACHINES.

-Greg

I would be willing to devote hours of my time to do this.

Posted in Humor. 6 Comments »

Make sure your audio is on.

Posted in Humor. 5 Comments »

A little Joke

A blonde walks into a library and says loudly, “UM, EXCUSE ME, I’LL, LIKE, HAVE A CHICKEN SANDWICH AND A DIET COKE.” The librarian, puzzled, responds, “You’re in a library.” The blond whispers back, “*oh,* *sorry,* *I’ll have a chicken sandwich and a diet coke.*”

The ebay crackpot of the day…

Making money is so easy!Want to bid 20 million for this guy’s work? He says it’s pretty much a sure thing you’ll make back hundreds of millions over the next few years.

The idea is that he has spent decades discovering how the behavior of the T-Bond value can be predicted by what he calls “quantum gravitational optics algorithms.”  Having his data would be a sure way to make a fortune managing funds.  How could he not ask for 20 million?

My favorite part- after talking about how reliable and simple it is and what a genius he is he has the following to say: “There is ONE Caveat: I suggest that you have a deep technical background in Riemann Geometry, Tensor Calculus, Topology, Optics, Quantum Optics, Particle Physics, Quantum Mechanics, Quantum Electrodynamics, Quantum Chemistry, Quantum Chromodynamics, String Theory, General Relativity and Special Relativity and computer programming if you are serious about purchasing this entire body of work.  If not, you will need to contract a person or assemble a team of individuals with at least a graduate level technical background in these areas of physics, and a background in scientific programming.”

No problem, buddy.  No problem.

-Greg

Hang on, I think I got a piece of gundam stuck in my eye.

Somebody out there in the murky realms of cyberspace has got it into his head that Gundam is cool and nothing else involving robots is.  He doesn’t come out and say it on this article, but he takes the time to say how cool it is to see some full-size model of a gundam that you can climb into and play video games inside of, then insinuates that the gundam, if in fact real (like the transformers are), would be kicking optimus prime’s shiny metal tailpipe.  Clearly this person thinks the bigger the robot the better.  I would say something about evangelion but instead I made an illustration of  why no gundam nor any other robot or robot suit can beat transformers for sheer size.  The word, my friends, is Unicron.

Hmm.  Think I'll have a nice tasty deathstar appetizer before consuming a full size planet.

Let that be a lesson to you.

-Greg